Sunday, January 2, 2011

New Years Revolutions

SO. It's been a year. It's been over a year since I started living at home, and this past year, I've seen some things in myself that I like, some things that have improved, and some things I have a serious problem with that I really need to work on.

Things I think have gotten better: My drawing abilities. Still needs work, but I can do a butt load of stuff without reference now, and I'm pretty proud of that. Also, my photoshop skills. When I apply myself, I can really use the medium and now I'm not so dependent on flash. My website (Though now it's my blog, so I prefer to call it my blogsite) is a whole lot nicer than my website, loads faster, is easier to change and update, and can actually be seen on iphones and other mobile media. I still would like to make one in wordpress, but until I get off my lazy ass and figure out MYSQL I'm pretty happy with it.

Things I need to work on:

Finishing what I start. I have a serious problem with this. I get all amped up for a project, I get a specific idea in my head, and I try so damn hard to execute it, but I fall short. Sometimes when I don't know a program I fold under pressure. This comes through as a half ass comic or a huge animation project I couldn't possibly finish. This needs to stop. I need to know my limitations, pick smaller battles, and finish the battles I start. Radiogame Theatre is one of the few big projects that I started, finished and am generally proud of. I knew what I had to do, I saw the deadline, I planed for it, and I finished it. I need to do more projects like that.

I also have this problem with relationships. I love getting to know people, but I'm terrible at breakups. Either I'll jump it too early and say the wrong thing, or I won't do anything and the passion will just die out, like an unfinished game. I need to work on this. Is anyone out there actually good at breaking up? Don't tell me it can't be done! I've seen it!

This is also why i love Scott Pilgrim so much. There's one scene in which Scott's friend tells him he has to break up with his girlfriend, and Scott whines, "But it's haaaaaaard!" That's me. I suck at that. I hate doing it because you're mostly a cool person and I want to leave you better than I found you, and you deserve someone cool. So for all those half assed shitty break ups I apologize.

Taking on too many projects at once. This goes along with my last point; I have to pick smaller battles, and less of them. I'm always so quick to say yes to new projects because A) I never know where that project may lead and B) I get an idea in my head, I get really SUPER excited, and I think it will be much easier that it actually is. I can't count the times I've told myself, "Oh, I'll just photoshop it" and then I get into photoshop only to realize I hate my photoshop skills. So I'm sorry ahead of time if I say No to a project. It's only because I'm working on 49 other projects I think I can handle.

Laziness. I say I do alot of things, but I wake up too late to do anything productive, watch too much crap on the internet, rush projects at night, and then go to bed too late just to start the whole damn process over again. This has to stop. I need to take my patented sticky system more strictly and get shit done. I've also become too comfortable living this lifestyle. Sure I want a job and my own place, but I can get up when I want, mold my own work schedule, stay up as late as I want...were I a lesser man I'd sit on my ass and play videogames all day.

Make a routine. It's hard to stick to routines when you don't have to, and it's really hard to stick to them if half the week you go away to the city for a networking event or to work on a project, but I desperately need a routine.

FInd a job. Last year I told myself I would "try" to find a job. No more trying. Screw the economy, I'm getting a job this year. Not sure how quite yet, but I'm sure it will involve a shitload of networking. and redoing my portfolio. I don't even have an animation reel for 2010. Why? Because I was doodling all day. Granted, I was focusing on my illustration and classical drawing skills, but if I really want to be an animator, I need to animate. And model. And rig. This might put a hamper on my daily comics.

Finding a focus. It's been over a year and a half and I still don't know what to focus on. So I've narrowed it down to Animation, storyboarding, character design, illustration, writing, game design, modeling, rigging...ugh. Too much. I still have not found an animation/game design studio that's looking for a jack of all trades and I have no idea what I'd be happy with doing for a living. Honestly, I'd be happy doing any of those things, but you can't really say that in an interview.

Dating I've been majorly half assing this one. On the one end I've been telling myself I don't have time to worry about relationships, I need to work on my portfolio, and also that I don't really deserve a relationship until I get a job and an apartment. But on the other end I've been telling myself if something HAPPENS to happen, then that's good too. But somethings happen and then I just let them unhappen. I don't like that. I'm still not sure if I deserve a relationship, but I'd like one, so I'm going to try the whole dating thing, y'know, when I'm not spending all my time looking for work and buffing my portfolio.

Those are the things I'm going to work on this year. Is there anything I missed that I desperately need to work on? What are you guys going to work on this year?